Ten worst things to Search on Google Image: The Excruciables


No actual search results are provided. Search for the actual images on your own if you’ll feel so inclined. The images to any one of these search items will show up on your computer screen, all, all at once, and to see them, all that you must do is copy and paste…or, you could just type them out, you know, each item is like three words long. You know. You don’t need to be like a librarian just to do this, you know, it’s only just searches on Google Images, you silly goose.

Yeah, that’s what you are, a silly goose, but anyway…well, you might be kind of fucked up, too, though, you know, if that from doing this you find delight, or find anything positive, if even just a few volts positive, or a tempered emotion, one that’s strongly mixed-in with negatives just as well, it’d probably not be a good thing, at least, not in my opinion. I’m an expert on nothing.

The kinds of things that I list here below are more than just grim; all of these images are downright disturbing, visual documentation of things that I’ve determined personally as the most shocking and profound, that a simple search box by some company that calls itself Google is able of spewing. And I’ve seen much of this spew; I’m not an expert on mental health, not even close, so take my words for what they’re worth: if you can handle the sight of it, it might be worth your peaking. After all, what all these images are, is of a normal part of life, although, of much more so the ending of life but, it’s of life all the same. It’s of life that once was, life that’s no longer, life that has ended and that’s ended in some of the most horrific of ways. Horrible deaths. That’s of what virtually all these images are, and the ones that are not are really not all too much better.

So, if at this point you’re still reading, and you’re reading for reasons for yourself and not for reasons for things about me, then maybe, just maybe, you do truly want just maybe a peak at the sight of some horrible things such as horrible deaths. And if so, then as I’ve said, do this on your own. And again, these things are just images, they are not the real things, they are of the real things, but your witness to them is not really the real thing. To see any one of these things in real life I’d think would affect you exponentially more greatly.

Oh, and also, just one more thing actually before I begin listing, I’ve just reminded myself something: if you do happen to desire an even greater affect, than that in viewing horrific images on the web, a steep step up would be that in watching horrible videos, which, can be deeply disturbing if it’s the right video. And many such videos like this that I speak of are out there, and one particular such type of this video that I’ll attest to personally is that of beheadings: go to the website LiveLeak, search for “beheadings”, and click on the relevant videos and press play, and do trust me, that you’ll regret doing this. Honestly, you’ll wish you’d not seen it.

Trust me… the real thing, and even the pics /videos of the real thing…is exponentially more horrible than this weirdo photograph.


1.) “Wrought iron fence impaling”

KEY REACTIONS: this is perhaps (definitely at least in my opinion) the most head-turning, eye-scrunching, and verbalized-oohs-inducing search that I know of.

MY PERSONAL TAKE: Seriously, these things need to be banned or something. I don’t even know why they still make them. I mean, speaking practically, they are made for deterring burglary, as well as to just keep people out of certain places generally, but still, these things need to be banned in my opinion. They are just no longer necessary in this day and age. And besides, a lot of the injuries from wrought iron fences actually involve children (not at all necessarily burglars), and also people’s pets, as well, and also wildlife–deer, for example, do somewhat frequently kill themselves in trying to jump over these things. If you have children of your own, warn them to NEVER climb on wrought iron fences. Spare yourselves an absolutely horrible (albeit freak) tragedy.

Yeah, those things are pretty sharp and pretty strong. You knew that, right?

2.) “Car crash victims”

KEY REACTIONS: Anguish; you do not feel good after seeing these images. You feel horrible for the victims, and you’re astonished at the shear gore of its involvement.

MY PERSONAL TAKE: Damn. Yeah, this one is really fucking horrible. And so is any search really if the last word is “victim(s)”. But it’s most especially horrible when the middle word is “crash” and the first word is a manmade mode of transportation.

A big part of what makes “car crash victims” be just so horrible is just how frequently this happens and how well-documented its occurrences is. There’s a whole shit ton of car crash photos out there on the Web, and when you search on Google, which as everyone knows is the world’s number-one extant search engine, the images that show are of almost exclusively just fatalities–which, leads me to reason that this is what people on the web are looking for when they’re searching…but, yeah, you know, anyway, car crash victim is really bad.

It’s just so entirely gruesome. The projectiles, the impacts…all of it. These gasoline powered machines that we depend on and use daily, that perform at levels of physical happenings that we simply do not compare with, such as moving at rates of 75-miles-per-hour, for example, and weighing several metric tonnes as do 18-wheelers, for another, well, these machines unfortunately can sometimes kill us when we use them.

Yeah, you knew that that was just a movie, right?

3.) “Hit by a train”

KEY REACTIONS: Nausea; it’s gross.

MY PERSONAL TAKE: At first, I’d thought to not include this one on here because the one that I’ve already mentioned up right above it, as that trains are of course as well a manmade mode of transportation. But “hit by a train” though, is a little bit different than “car crash victims” because, well, for one thing the occurrence is far less common, and two, when this does actually happen, and it does certainly sometimes happen, a human death is almost entirely certain; and three, the death of its victim, or if at best, the horrific injury to its victim, is not exactly the faults of neither the train nor the conductor, at least, normally it’s not. One simply cannot stop those things on a dime, it does not work like that.

So… you knew he had it in him, right?

4.) “Bear attack victim”

KEY REACTIONS: Horror; at least, for me this is. Bears scare the fucking shit out of me. And almost all the victims here have literally been eaten–in some cases, almost entirely consumed–it’s human meat stripped right off the bone, chew marks, shredded tissue, it’s terrible, fucking just terrible. Makes me shiver just typing this…

MY PERSONAL TAKE: Listen, are you afraid of bears? Because if you’re not, you fucking should be. Don’t listen to Ranger Bob, standing on his all-natural, organic soap box; listen to me, keeping it real: Bears are fucking beasts. Statistics can be bent, but a bear, can break your body.

Allow me to break it down for you… [ Arnold Schwarzenegger during his physical prime + Ronald Coleman + Jay Cutler (body builder) + the late Michael Clark Duncan + like any three other beastly dudes of your choice ] would still be less than the shear physical strength of one grown adult grizzly bear, perhaps even less than one adult black bear, and certainly much less than a Kodiak bear, or a polar bear. If a bear finds any reason to kill you, a bear will kill you. And should it not, this simply means that it has changed its mind. Okay? No, you didn’t scare the bear by shaking your arms and screaming. Okay? No. No, you didn’t. You may have confused the bear, but you didn’t scare it. Okay? And also, your super-soaker-5-billion pumping out military-grade mace, had actually, not even hurt the bear. Those monsters endure dozens of bee stings just to lick a scoop of honey. Okay? Goddamn bears, they scare the shit out of me, and as they should.

No, I mean, but really though, bears are just animals. Compared to us, and as crude as I do sound, they’re pretty stupid. I mean, they’re actually very smart animals, but they don’t have any kinds of desires like we do. They’re not capable of the kinds of evils that our superior minds have enabled for us. Bears don’t start wars. Bears don’t murder out of hatred. Bears protect themselves. They just want to eat, sleep, and procreate, and be bears. That’s all they want to do. So let them do it. Stay away from bears.

Uh, he does get like a million times bigger… You knew that, right? And his mom totally hates you right now. You knew that, too, though, right?

And also, no offense to Ranger Bob, actually. Ranger Bob knows his shit. I just got riled up, that’s all. Damn bears. Stay away from bears.

Also, on a side note, super soakers are no joke… you knew that though, right?

And although bears actually can and do get spooked by us pretty easily, which can work for, or against you if you encounter one, still, do not, under any circumstances underestimate their power. I may be an expert on nothing, but I do know one thing, and that’s that they are more than several times as strong as us. And they also have viciously huge claws, and paws, and teeth. Stay away.

Yeah, you knew that Yogi was a cartoon, right?

5.) “Chimp attack”

KEY REACTIONS: Jaw drop; astonishment.

MY PERSONAL TAKE: It’s another animal attack, but I do have to add it because the images are just way too powerful to ignore.

And also, as I said with bears, but perhaps even more so in this case, do not underestimate the strength of this animal. The average chimpanzee is several times stronger than the average grown man. And from the looks of the images it fucking shows.

Yeah, he doesn’t need that glock. But you already knew that though, right?
Yeah, no, this one DEFINITELY does not need it — Don’t you ever make him angry, you don’t want to see him when he’s angry — He will rip off your hands, pull off your ears, and maybe eat your genitals — As chimps age, their propensity for agression is very fierce, especially in males.
When it comes to chimpanzees, like, karate should be a forbidden knowledge, you know what I mean?

6.) “Juan Jose Padilla accident”

KEY REACTIONS: Disbelief…that he survived it.

MY PERSONAL TAKE: Just one more of the animal attacks and I’ll be done with them. Juan Jose Padilla is a famous bullfighter, if you did not know, and this one if any of them you do have to see.

His eyepatch isn’t for like, a costume or something… you knew that though, right?

7.) “Miami cannibal”

KEY REACTIONS: shock and horror.

MY PERSONAL TAKE: You need to see this to really understand it… words just do not do it justice… and also, at this point, I’m getting kind of lazy, and don’t really want to keep on typing so much. You know?

This is his “before” picture; his “after” picture is indescribably more terrifying… but you already knew that, right?

8.) “Blue waffle disease”

KEY REACTIONS: Astonishing disgust / horror

MY PERSONAL TAKE: Well, it’s not blue, and not waffles either. It’s not food at all. And the color is not even its most alarming aspect. Check it out, I wouldn’t recommend ever having it.

BONUS, RELEVANT SEARCH ITEMS: “Herpes”, “elephantiasis”, “goiter”

Yeah, this image is like, entirely nothing that’s in the true likeness of actual blue waffle disease… but like, you already knew that, right?

Also, gang, just one more tip, “brown recluse spider bite”, as you’d probably imagine, can as well show up on Google as pretty bad. And also, you might as well check out “medical maggots” while you’re at it. That might be worth your effort.

9.) Anything that pertains to “murder”, “murder victim”, “homicide”, or anything that’s murder related.

KEY REACTIONS: Shame? IDK, why are you looking this stuff up?

MY PERSONAL TAKE: IDK. Don’t be too hard on yourself? I mean, I’ve done it. And I would never do any such things to any person, ever, and never would I ever wish any such things upon any person either, but I’ve seen the real images of the real things. Maybe I’m a fucked up person though, who knows. Certainly not me, though, because I don’t think that I am. And I don’t think I’ve been decesitized to such things either. I think I’m now just merely more aware of the existences of such things than I’d be otherwise. That’s all. I’ve seen charred human remains, images of bodies that’ve been electrocuted to such extents that flesh has become purple. Hell, I’ve seen humans that have turned into stews–in their own bathtubs. Yeah. It’s highly disturbing. And some people might even frown on me for it (if not even stay away from me for it). I don’t know. I’m harmless though. Peace, yo. Flower Power, man. You know? I mean, I’m not like some glutton for gore, or something, but like, yeah, I’ve seen the stuff.

Why on Earth do so many people love watching horror movies anyway? Is it okay though just because it’s fiction?
…or is it better when it’s based on a true story. Ed Gein was a real person and serial killer, and the inspiration for Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You already knew that though, right?

Personally, I actually like Halloween better, but I think that’s just a coincidence…

10. Type whatever you think would be bad and see if Google agrees with you.

Find out how fucked up you really actually are. Use your imagination. Search for your fears and stuff. You’re on your own now. I’m done here.


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