Bill Cosby once told me, “I don’t know the key to success, but I know the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”

I try to think about this every time I tell you to go fuck yourself.

Jello has not contacted me yet. And despite the fact I’ve now sent three letters to deride them.

But would you believe I haven’t raped anyone?

Uhp! Woop — There I go again.

Letting my envy gets the best of me. I’m sorry, Bill. Really, I, should be more observant.

After all, one may still please some without pleasing all.

“You don’t really know a man until you spend the next morning in his sweater.”

-Lois Lowry

To be truly insightful, as the sage himself, and in the spirit of mindfulness, and to come from a place of authentic compassion, and not false compassion, or other, inferior, psychopathic imitations of compassion, I’d offer to do the work for you.

And I’m not gonna take no for an answer!

Because, It is like Bill said, I gotta finish what I started.

That’s the secret. See. That’s the sweet spot. That’s this, happy medium. The key to success.
So, to rephrase myself, and be like my hero, Bill Cosby, and if I work hard enough, then if I’m lucky, secure a contract with Jello, It would be my pleasure.