You see right through me;
I walk right through you.
I shut you off.
You’re not worth it.
Hence my aloofness —
I don’t wish to be confrontational —
but here is a sample of what I’d think
if only I cared
about the same formalities as you:

To preserve my peace of mind,
maintain my homeostasis of the heart,
in it everything has a place
for every tenant pays its rent;
and you’re the kind of soul who wants to
redecorate and do self repairs when
you suck at them and make things worse.
Like a runoff sentence you don’t know when
to stop.

Why it would be so terrible for me to start caring —
to reorganize you —
and in turn myself;
to test my tracks and see you crash —
to lift the dust of years that passed —
to test free will and watch you laugh —
the wreckage would be an eternal flame
for you know you could not put me out.

How could I do that to myself?
When I work so hard to keep things simmer.
I shut you off before you boil
with an emergency monkey wrench,
my handy dandy peripheral penchant.

I write poetry for God’s sake —
you really think I do it for the money?
I dropped out of law school to become
an artist, yes, some people know what they
want in life.

You think I am lazy and you think
that’s the reason why I toil
in the all-absorbing rat race that so often is life.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. No more words for you,
materialistic, basic, timid, truly sackless,
time blind person drawn through life
like cattle.

Don’t save: me: artist about his craft;
don’t save: me: misunderstood.
Don’t save me at all.
Spare me in fact.
Spare me of it all.
Good bye and good luck —
you won’t need it.
Go hump your fallback plan.
I hear it’s a safe racket.