Complacent is the landscape
to a stretch of earthbound Sun.
The substance in shadows
dissipates, drowning out beauty
in nasally whispers.
We are in bed, encamped in warmth.
Sunrise––some good old day.
I hear her grumble soft words of trust and faith
with but half a mind to make them;
I hone in on her froggy riblets
and I hope for words of satisfaction to pave forth,
but that of course is never found.
A never used camera sits on a window sill
above a painted radiator tank,
and it serves to remind her
that life can be more than what it’s not.
I agree with her on this one,
but it pains me to know however,
that she must have to make this her mantra.
Indeed––she keeps baby pictures
of herself inside this bedroom,
and there’s a protected spider
in one high corner of the room
that I am forbidden to kill or even relocate.
I told her it will lay eggs if we leave it alone;
she said if it does that we can relocate them;
so every day or so I make sure to glance at it.
A Vix machine on the stripe wood floor
now awaits me so that I can step on it
and break it–––in 5-4-3-2-1. **CRURUCK**
Five minutes later, she is in tears.

The first kiss I can’t remember;
We had, afterall, kissed a lot that night.
But always will I remember our last kiss,
in bed, many mornings before you left
too many Suns for me to count.
Your morning lips tasted like poetry;
The essence of your energy
was a manifestation of mixed emotions,
And I knew we were dead now,
by the husks of your eyes.
It was was the most offensive kiss
that I had ever received;
It was a kiss of disempowerment.
When I pushed off your lips,
I could feel it in my core;
The energy bond between us was now
suddenly gone; Whatever you had dreamt
in your sleep that night had now changed
my heart’s compass’s arrow
onto elsewhere bound.
And that was the moment that we died.

When we kissed, you had looked at me
like I was an imposter, but to me you were a
disenchanted Disney World employee;
You were just a trained dolphin jumping through
your 800th hoop to nowhere.
On my end I was a parrot trying my hardest
to learn a new word that could impress you;
I was a classic magician who had stayed on
the TV for a few years too long;
I was literally out of new tricks,
your friends had rated me poorly,
and were I not such a great company man,
who was loyal like a dog,
nothing else could have saved me––
I’d have left you long ago.
Like I said, when we kissed each other,
it was over. But I’m just glad it was a mutual kiss;
we had both went for it.

Swelling brain,
near deflation––
Soon catharsis
beyond control;
Withdrawal me now,
mummified––
Sarcophaguise
back to life.
I had to give a lot of fucks out to this world
before I’d reached a point I couldn’t any longer.
One day this world will end;
Eventually, the Sun will die––
And you’re not gonna stop it.

Down the road I came upon an unexpected stop.
I thought it was a weigh station,
but she made me expose much more than that.
Somehow life can breathe once more?
I asked myself as she let go of more.
But then I saw myself slightly cleaner,
and dressed in Vans,
going to Muse concerts, with less time for art,
me-time, and bullshit, plus writing less…
Then once again I told my head
that I was looking for a friend,
and I beat myself to my own punch
because it’s padded in my head.
I saw her 3 more times and then never again.

Sunday morning living room;
Bathrobes in the winter thick––
Blinds are up, the lights are off––
Snowfall brighter than the Sun.
Sunday morning’s were the best––
A day before the weekly mess-–
Lounging lazily in your chest-–
Saying nothing, moving in.

But blinded by love––
Too long I stare––
My Sun is gone.
Ebullient no more,
I spin down the drain––
This shower is empty.

#poetry #art #literature #writing